Lisa. In her 30s. Married. 2 kids.
Meets a man in the intimate section of lavalife, meets in person for an hour and has sex with him in cheap hotel rooms (drives across the border to do it).
He could have been a rapist, murderer, 12 years old…you get the picture. She still put herself in that situation. For what? Sex?
Then…get this…she never came during intercourse, wouldn’t let him go down on her and could only come when she masterbated or he manually stimulated her. However, a number of times she didn’t even come. Why meet? Why meet again?
Bob said he liked her blowjobs because she let him put her hand on the back of head to push her down on his “bit”. Now, I’m no prude and neither are my friends. We all talk in depth about this stuff. No one I know likes to be forced to gag on someone’s bits – no matter who they are.
I asked Bob what she asked for in the bedroom, even gave him examples, and he said she didn’t ask for anything and she wasn’t into BDSM or any “real kink.” (bear in mind here I’m getting the story from him – so it could all be BS). He’s pretty straight laced in the bedroom, not into BDSM either…or so I think. What do I really know – the guy’s a liar, a cheat and jerk.
So here’s a messed up woman going to a hotel for sex with “strangers” (not her first time either) and not leaving satisfied. It was all about him. Yet she’d go back every month for that?
Another post showing a study states that 80% of women who cybersex will meet. They are looking for romance but think they are looking for sex. HELLO LISA!
Bob told Lisa he was married in order that things couldn’t go further (meanwhile we dated 1 month before they met). After months of being wooed by my BF for sex – telling her everything she wants to hear, cybersexing with and making her feel like a million bucks (he’s great at that – well personally I wouldn’t know about the cybersexing, but the rest is an absolute) and sex every month. She decides she wants more…going away for a weekend, why he doesn’t take her out to dinner, etc.
Well, Lisa you screwed yourself (not only me, my BF’s kid, your kids, your family – you get my bitter picture) because guess what? Bob wanted the fantasy, the situation of cloak and dagger excited him and you ruined that. Why?
Because you were human.
You even said, “all we do is fuck…can’t we go for dinner sometime?.” Bob was mad, he said you knew what it was and that he didn’t have time to do that stuff. He wanted dirty sex, not another girlfriend.
He used you and yet you went back for more. Until you were real and then he didn’t want you. He wanted his perfect fantasy woman (yeah, yeah, I know…that wasn’t me either) who had no needs or feelings.
Another thing is he states that it was the situation and not the person. It wouldn’t have mattered if it was someone else.
Ouch, that’s got to hurt. Likely not as much as I’m hurt though, afterall, you can go home to your husband and kids. I just have a jerk.
Filed under: 1. Cybersex Addiction, 4. Sex Addiction, 6.0 The Other Woman | Tagged: 6.0 The Other Woman, bdsm, blowjobs, cheap hotel rooms, cybersex lisa, hotel sex with strangers, lavalife intimate, real kink, sex addiction triangle
Like I said get out. I had a boyfriend, who also dragged me into that world and yes we did plan on getting married. I was so thankful that we never lived together. Even after he joined AA (because he refused to go to SA) it did not get better, in fact it got worse because he became friends with women in AA and then would throw them in my face all of the time. THEY GET WORSE, CHANCED OF GETTING BETTER ARE SLIM. Oh and did I mention that he never gave up the porn, but lied about it to me and the couples counselor. These people are highly manipulative. If you are not married, you did not take a vow, get out, move on, start over. It will be worth it. Do you want to leave now or do you want to invest more of your time in someone who doesn’t even know how sick they are? I write this from a woman to another woman. What’s worse is that I am sure he won’t tell the other women he is with after you about his addictions.
I’m sorry to hear that and I want to thank you for sharing your story.
Bob says he knows it’s not normal and he is trying to get help. He admits he doesn’t know if can control it.
The relapse rate is so high with this addiction. I’m scared and disgusted.
I’m really sorry that things didn’t work out for you and you must feel proud that you got out.
How’s your next relationship?
I haven’t been in one because I am working on myself. You will feel so much better if you have some serious time apart-at least a year. Then, you will be able to see much more clearly all of the damage. You deserve so much better than that in every way. Can’t you imagine being with someone who is healthy, kind, and loving?
YOU SHOULD REMEMBER THIS, MOST SERIAL KILLERS ARE ALSO VERY CHARMING WITH SOME GOOD QUALITIES. SOME EVEN HAVE FRIENDS WHO WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED.THAT IS WHAT PATHOLOGY IS.