Recovering Couples Anon – Sex addict & partner help

Well, I think the time has come to really figure how to be intimate and how to be a couple – a real one.
I’m going to ask Bob if he would like to do “date night” with me.  I found this RCA – Recovering Couples Anon website with a search fuction for meetings and there’s [...]

Sex Addiction Numbers Higher than Reported? Epidemic?

I started this blog July 9, 2009 – it seems so long ago and it also seems so close.  It’s very catharic for me and I read Bob the entries.  I’ve made some virtual friends along the way and I’ve put deep thought into a lot of comments and emails left by people on all [...]

Top 10 Things to Do When You Find Out Your Partner is a Sex Addict

The list is below but before I start there a few things I’d like to say….
I’d like to say stay calm, listen and don’t say things you’ll regret later but our emotions are so intense that me writing about them won’t help.  I’d also like to say don’t judge or give your opinions right away becuase [...]

Intellectualizing vs. Feeling – Partners of Sex Addicts

A commenter on my blog says some pretty amazing things and the other day the blogger said,
“Really think about what it would feel like. Don’t intellectualize, don’t research, I think your research has actually clouded your judgement.”
I’d have to say they have a point.  While my PMS kicked into full gear the last few (angry) [...]

How to cope with your partner when you’re a sex addict

I have a few things on my chest that I want to get out, so if you’re a recovering sex addict and you have a partner, listen up!
You’ve likely lived a double life for as along as you can remember.  You’ve probably medicated yourself with porn, cybersex, masterbation and/or other sex-related activities.  If you’re recovering [...]

Sex addicts & partners need to read this…

I have to say that I found an amazing resource which explains sex addiction clinically.  I’m only 3 posts in, in reading, but I am wowed by it and it explains a lot and moreso it explains the issues of love and sex. 
It’s a complex read, but worth going through it line by line to [...]

My relapse & the Sex Addict

So, I thought I was over the bridge of feeling really crappy, shaking and crazy.  I guess not.  I’ve had an emotional relapse – 11 weeks in.  Likely PMS and trigger-related.
The scramble with the phone thing really set me off, “triggered” me, I guess. Plus, the fact that I watched a man in his 40’s pay a [...]

Sex addicts blog that makes me angry

Yesterday while I was supposed to be working I got sidetracked and found a website written by two people who were obviously sex addicts.  It bothered the crap out of me.  They were proud and wanted to enlighten people about how great their long distance, virtual, cybersex, loving relationship was.
They posted about how much they [...]

His Past, My Brain & Sex Addiction

Bob and I are both sick of running through the same conversations, about the same things.  I can’t help it.  I keep bringing up the same questions because I have these stupid little panics about stuff we’ve already resolved.  Things that trigger me into thinking about them again.
I think talking constructively is good, trying to [...]

Paranoia or Intuition: Feeling Sick Again & the Sex Addict

Here I am on a tropical island – I’m working from the hotel while “Bob” is at work – and now I feel sick and panicky and just overall icky.
Here’s the story… 10 steps forward and one step back….arggghhhhhhhh
Last night Bob set the alarm to get up at 6am to go to work.  However, there [...]

Picture of female cybersexer…my decision

I seem to have received a lot of backlash for saying I just may post the picture of the cybersexer found on my BF’s hard drive.
Everyone, besides me, thinks it’s an emphatic no.
So how do I know if she is a cybersexer?  I found it related to his c-me-too account which was exclusively for his [...]

10 weeks after learning my BF is a sex addict

Wow, 10 weeks…a lot has changed for me, Bob and his family.
The shock has definately worn off and I’m looking at things more clearly now.  I’m wondering if I’m up for a life of always wondering.  Like this week for example, we’ve had sex once (usually it’s at least 3) and I wonder.  I don’t [...]

Is it sex addiction?

Had a reader post a question that I think we all think at the beginning of this process. 
How do you know it’s sex addiction and not just being a jerk?
Well the best thing to do in this instance is look at all of the behaviors in total.  Read books like Contrary to Love, Patrick Carnes [...]

Questions about sex addiction or partners of sex addicts…

A quick post today to find out what you really want to know about sex addiction or partners of sex addicts.  It could be cybersex questions, masterbation addiction, pornography addiction, affairs addiction, my feelings or opinions…anything. 
I’ll do my best to answer or try and find the answers for you.  Bob said he’d even colaborate.
So if [...]

Is there hope for cybersex addicts?

Hope.  We all know what it is and we all hope for things in life.  I hope I get a better job, I hope I can lose that 10 lbs, I hope my partner can stay off the cybersex, the porn, compulsive masterbation and stop having affairs, etc.  The last part really tears a hole in our [...]

Sex Addicts’ Feelings Towards Partners

A friend who emailed me had some great insight into sex addiction.  I had permission to post it here.
As you know I’m always worried about being “old faithful” – the women Bob looks at do not look like me, or seem to even have a similar personality.  So I seem to struggle with wondering day to day why [...]

He hoarded porn & I hoard evidence

Yep it’s true.  Bob had 10 gig of porn that he hoarded before deleting it all (again) nearly 10 weeks ago.  Bob has been “white knuckling” for 10 weeks and I’m proud of him.
I have a confession to make that I keep all the evidence (not the porn) of his acting out. 
I’m not sure why [...]

Explaining love and sex addiction by a recovering sex addict

Another great blog worth a read.  Here’s part of a great post about love and sex addiction.  Here’s the link to My Sex Addiction: A Complicated Answer.

A Complicated Answer

MargauxMeade asked me a great question in her comment on my post Former Lovers, which has been my most-commented-on-drama-filled post to date. It also is probably the [...]

Jealousy & the sex addict

It’s been a few weeks since I noticed that now Bob is jealous.  You’d think before he was jealous knowing how easy it was to hook-up with other women and especially married women.  But no.  Now he’s jealous.  I get, “how come you’re so late”, “who was that on the phone”…the usual stuff.  I also [...]

Top 10 Reasons Not to Cybersex

If you’re thinking about cybersexing or if you’re an addict you should read these top 10 reasons not to do it.  Bob, my BF, who is a sex addict has written these down and put in his wallet in case he’s ever tempted.

Sitting in the dark, with his d**k in his hand is just not [...]