HPV, Pre-cancer round 2

I forgot to write a post about this so I’ll sum it up here. As you may be aware I contracted HPV, human papilloma virus – genital warts (i don’t have warts), from Bob and had a LEEP procedure to remove the precancer in my cervix back in Feb/March.

Questions about sex addiction – and answers

I’ll be putting up polls on a regular basis.  I will use the data as topics of posts going forward – so please participate – it’s anonymous.
Also, if there are topics/discussions/feelings/questions/answers I’m not covering and you want to know…comment on this post and I’ll do my best to answer or I can ask Bob for [...]

Thanks to Everyone for the Great Comments

I just want to personally thank everyone here for commenting on this blog.  As you know my purpose here is to try to understand and EVERYONE here has valuable things to say, questions to ask and also it’s great to know we’re not alone and it’s also great for others to know that we are not shy, frigid [...]

Interview with Sex Addict about Masterbation Addiction

I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m the interviewer and Bob’s partner so there be conflicts of interest here.  Also, that Bob is in therapy trying to understand himself so answers may seem short likley because he doesn’t really know.  Here goes:
First masterbated?  around 10 and would masterbate about 3 or 4 times [...]

3 months since learning my BF is a sex addict

Well, it’s been around three months since Bob and I realized that he’s addicted to sex.  He hasn’t masterbated, cybersexed, had an affair (11 months) or looked at porn during this time.  He’s going to SLAA, seeing a therapist and I’m seeing a therapist.  We’re both planning to go to Recovering Couples Anon in the [...]

Good post about saying your sorry when you’re a sex addict

Another good blog post from The Gentle Path explaining what it means when a partner asks “do you know how much you’ve hurt me”

So with a spouse – what I’d do (what I’ve done) – is say I’m sorry. Again. Because I really am sorry. If there was any way I could go back in [...]

He doesn’t feel – is this part of sex addiction?

Bob admitted this weekend that he doesn’t feel.  He told a story about one of his best friends, “John”, a few years ago losing his Mother.  Bob knew John’s Mother and liked her.  She died of cancer.  Young.  Bob went to visitation with his family and his wife and remembers feeling nothing.  He says that he pretended to [...]

Who Am I Becoming? Partners of Sex Addicts

Not surprisingly, this sex addiction has rubbed me raw in emotions.  I have changed these past 3 months and into someone I do not know or particularly like.
I am angry at Bob and angry with myself for not walking away and for sometimes wanting to walk away. For both. 
I am jealous and not jealous.  Sometimes, most [...]

Recovering Couples Anon – Sex addict & partner help

Well, I think the time has come to really figure how to be intimate and how to be a couple – a real one.
I’m going to ask Bob if he would like to do “date night” with me.  I found this RCA – Recovering Couples Anon website with a search fuction for meetings and there’s [...]

Sex Addiction Numbers Higher than Reported? Epidemic?

I started this blog July 9, 2009 – it seems so long ago and it also seems so close.  It’s very catharic for me and I read Bob the entries.  I’ve made some virtual friends along the way and I’ve put deep thought into a lot of comments and emails left by people on all [...]

Top 10 Things to Do When You Find Out Your Partner is a Sex Addict

The list is below but before I start there a few things I’d like to say….
I’d like to say stay calm, listen and don’t say things you’ll regret later but our emotions are so intense that me writing about them won’t help.  I’d also like to say don’t judge or give your opinions right away becuase [...]

Intellectualizing vs. Feeling – Partners of Sex Addicts

A commenter on my blog says some pretty amazing things and the other day the blogger said,
“Really think about what it would feel like. Don’t intellectualize, don’t research, I think your research has actually clouded your judgement.”
I’d have to say they have a point.  While my PMS kicked into full gear the last few (angry) [...]

How to cope with your partner when you’re a sex addict

I have a few things on my chest that I want to get out, so if you’re a recovering sex addict and you have a partner, listen up!
You’ve likely lived a double life for as along as you can remember.  You’ve probably medicated yourself with porn, cybersex, masterbation and/or other sex-related activities.  If you’re recovering [...]

Sex addicts & partners need to read this…

I have to say that I found an amazing resource which explains sex addiction clinically.  I’m only 3 posts in, in reading, but I am wowed by it and it explains a lot and moreso it explains the issues of love and sex. 
It’s a complex read, but worth going through it line by line to [...]

My relapse & the Sex Addict

So, I thought I was over the bridge of feeling really crappy, shaking and crazy.  I guess not.  I’ve had an emotional relapse – 11 weeks in.  Likely PMS and trigger-related.
The scramble with the phone thing really set me off, “triggered” me, I guess. Plus, the fact that I watched a man in his 40’s pay a [...]

Sex addicts blog that makes me angry

Yesterday while I was supposed to be working I got sidetracked and found a website written by two people who were obviously sex addicts.  It bothered the crap out of me.  They were proud and wanted to enlighten people about how great their long distance, virtual, cybersex, loving relationship was.
They posted about how much they [...]

His Past, My Brain & Sex Addiction

Bob and I are both sick of running through the same conversations, about the same things.  I can’t help it.  I keep bringing up the same questions because I have these stupid little panics about stuff we’ve already resolved.  Things that trigger me into thinking about them again.
I think talking constructively is good, trying to [...]

Paranoia or Intuition: Feeling Sick Again & the Sex Addict

Here I am on a tropical island – I’m working from the hotel while “Bob” is at work – and now I feel sick and panicky and just overall icky.
Here’s the story… 10 steps forward and one step back….arggghhhhhhhh
Last night Bob set the alarm to get up at 6am to go to work.  However, there [...]

Picture of female cybersexer…my decision

I seem to have received a lot of backlash for saying I just may post the picture of the cybersexer found on my BF’s hard drive.
Everyone, besides me, thinks it’s an emphatic no.
So how do I know if she is a cybersexer?  I found it related to his c-me-too account which was exclusively for his [...]

10 weeks after learning my BF is a sex addict

Wow, 10 weeks…a lot has changed for me, Bob and his family.
The shock has definately worn off and I’m looking at things more clearly now.  I’m wondering if I’m up for a life of always wondering.  Like this week for example, we’ve had sex once (usually it’s at least 3) and I wonder.  I don’t [...]