HPV, Pre-cancer round 2

I forgot to write a post about this so I’ll sum it up here. As you may be aware I contracted HPV, human papilloma virus – genital warts (i don’t have warts), from Bob and had a LEEP procedure to remove the precancer in my cervix back in Feb/March.

Sad.

I’m sad today.  I’ve started to look for places to live.  I’m sad because I can’t find anything with wow factor.  I guess it’s hard to go from home owner to -at the landlord’s mercy – renter again.
I’m sad because Bob can’t be the person I want him to be or the person I thought [...]

SLAA Meetings & Honesty

Bob comes back from the SLAA meetings.  Sometimes he talks to me and sometimes he doesn’t afterwards.  I usually ask a battery of questions.  Bob thinks I’m “investigating” – trying to find out if he’s actually gone or trying to get more out of the answers.
Truth is I do believe he goes - he knows I know [...]

Questions about sex addiction – and answers

I’ll be putting up polls on a regular basis.  I will use the data as topics of posts going forward – so please participate – it’s anonymous.
Also, if there are topics/discussions/feelings/questions/answers I’m not covering and you want to know…comment on this post and I’ll do my best to answer or I can ask Bob for [...]

Anger Again – Partner of sex addict and grief

I am angry, not just with Bob, but with the whole world.  One good friend thinks this is normal and a normal part of the grieving process.  You know, the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and/or acceptance. Personally, I think it’s fitting since I’ve lost the person and the relationship “I thought” I had.
I’m [...]

HPV, Sex Addiction, Celibacy, Babies & Me

Sorry, I’ve been off the map for awhile and thank you all for your emails and concern.  It’s nice to know that our virtual community is a close one.
So this past month has been weird.  We started going to RCA, which is good.  Either by chance or maybe it’s the meetings things have started to calm [...]

One Foot, Two Foot – Relationships & Sex Addiction

Bob & I had an interesting conversation the other night about our relationship.  I think he really understood what I’ve been trying to say over these past 5 months.  We generally need an intrepreter becuase what I think I’m saying and what he understands are 2 different things entirely – and vice versa.
I asked him [...]

Sex, Lies & Forgiveness – Couples speaking out on healing from addiction

So, I’m  re-reading the book by Jennifer Schneider & Burt Schneider and 5 months later I really find it a valuable tool to understanding.  The authors surveyed people and it is filled with examples, the way people feel on both sides.  There are some things that stick out for me…so I’ll excerpt them here. Both sides should [...]

Still having a bad day…

Still think he’s up to something.  Not sure why I think that exactly.  Intution?  Paranoia?
He just got back from a 4 night business trip and he’s in a good mood – it’s odd to see him smile, chat and laugh.  Makes me wonder. 
He’s at his group tonight – hope it goes well.  But he could [...]

Found Partner of Sex Addict Groups!!!

Finally, found groups.  They are so underground and hard to find.  Bob brought a Recovering Couples Anon (RCA) pamphlet home that he picked-up in his SLAA meetings.
I finally called and talked to someone to find out location and details etc.  It was sooooooooooo nice to actually speak with someone in real life who has been [...]

Maybe it’s the too good to be true…

Maybe I’m feeling all crazy today because I’ve been thinking about how well Bob is doing, or says he’s doing.  I wonder how can he be whiteknuckling it for 5 months and celibate for 30 days and not relapse.  How is he doing it?
I’m a smoker and I know how hard it is to quit [...]

Having a bad day thinking about sex addict’s past -grrrrr

Sometimes I wish I could read minds – and then sometimes I don’t.
Today and last night I do.  Bob and I generally argue about the same things over and over.  He knows what he’s done and I don’t.  I want to know – all of it, I just want my mind to rest so I [...]

Sex addiction & Celibacy

So Bob had an epiphany last week at his SLAA meeting.  He’s on a 60-day celibacy stint and he’s had issues wondering why.  Then when he was talking to the group he realized that the pressure is off between the two of us when it comes to sex. 
Before the celibacy thing he had issues getting [...]

Good days & bad days with sex addicts

Well, Bob & I are both having good days and bad days right now.  For me I have days where I can’t get the images out of my head, I snoop, which makes me feel bad about myself (my heart pounds and I feel sick while I’m doing it.  I feel sick about what I [...]

Bad News…I Hope Not

I had an STD test as soon as I found out about the phyical affair and I had one in March prior to that for my annual check-up and I had one when I met Bob because I was single for awhile before that and tramped about and I wanted to be sure that I [...]

Cuddling & The Recovering Sex Addict

Bob’s doing 60-days of celibacy.  So I’m not getting any.  I’m not an addict, but I do miss it.  However, we’ve been just cuddling in the morning, spooning and feeling the warmth of each other.  It’s awesome.  There is no pressure from either of us.  I’m likin’ it.  So is he. Ahhh - intimacy?
He does get erections [...]

Other addictions looming for the sex addict?

Bob’s trying to find new things to do to replace the crazy amount of hours devoted to his addiction.  So he gets video games and a PS2.
He’s been playing God of War like crazy…10 hours on the weekend.  Now he’s bored of it.  Doesn’t want to play at all – funny.  Seems like the only “hobby” he [...]

Antidepressants & sex addiction

Bob’s a mess (I can relate), truly – not sleeping, no concentration and really in shock about discovering that he was not in control of his “habits” that it controlled him and he can’t get his head around it.  So, he hasn’t excluded going on anti-depressents. 
So here’s my dilemma.  I know antidepressents help slow down  [...]

Thanks to Everyone for the Great Comments

I just want to personally thank everyone here for commenting on this blog.  As you know my purpose here is to try to understand and EVERYONE here has valuable things to say, questions to ask and also it’s great to know we’re not alone and it’s also great for others to know that we are not shy, frigid [...]

Sexual Abused Men & Sex Addiction

Quick update:  the online version isn’t as long or as as good as the magazine.  I read it to Bob from online and the sex addiction parts were missing in the online version. If you can get a copy of the mag – you should. The article is listed on the cover of the mag in the [...]