Moving in a Few Weeks – fences

I love the way we are when we’re together and loathe the way we are when we’re apart. I loathe the baggage – and more specifically, I loathe the way I feel when I’mwith him. I don’t feel sexy, wanted, like a woman – I am his Mother, his roomate, his glue. I need to look after me now. Get well and lose the emotional baggage – and now I have a ton. Trying to imagine not be jealous, not looking for those “SA signs”, wondering if I’ll be bored without the intense drama that’s wrapped my psyche for what seems like 30 years (only 1.5 years).

5 Quick Things I’ve Proud of This Year (in terms of being with sex addict)

For the past few months, maybe longer, I have stopped looking at women jealously. There was a time where everywhere I looked, adn I mean everywhere, I only saw women who were better than me. They may be prettier, thinner, better eyelashes, funnier, smarter – whatever. I’m not gay, but I couldn’t stop looking at women. I objectified them. I’m done with that, like the headache that drove you nuts and then somehow, somewhere vanished.

HPV, Pre-cancer round 2

I forgot to write a post about this so I’ll sum it up here. As you may be aware I contracted HPV, human papilloma virus – genital warts (i don’t have warts), from Bob and had a LEEP procedure to remove the precancer in my cervix back in Feb/March.

Textbook Partner of Sex Addict – On The Cusp of my Own Affair

I have reconnected with someone I used to know. All of the books I’ve read show that there is a large number of partners of sex addicts that have affairs. I am possibly on the cusp of being that person. I feel guilty and don’t know if I can go through with it. But I think about it – I think about him – and I think about Bob.

One Year with Sex Addict

One year after sex addiction…

HPV, Precancer, surgery & sex addict

Well, I went for surgery yesterday to remove part of my cervix in a LEEP procedure.  Bob went with me and was very upset by “what he’s created.” 
The surgery was not painful – only mild cramping afterwards – like the early years when you get your period for the first time.  The reprocussions are:  I [...]

My Decision to Stay or Leave Sex Addict

We also started couples counselling before I found out about the affair/ the addiction…only to find out that our counsellor did more damage than good. He told Bob, after he was a confirmed sex addict, that it was perfectly acceptable to comment on a woman’s cleavage if she was wearing a low cut top, because that’s why she’d wear it. Bob said he’d get fired for that and does he (shrink) realize he’s a sex addict. We never went to another counsellor at all. Bob tried to get an appointment with the only SA counsellor in our city – but his calls were never returned. Apparently.

Great Article About Female Sex & Love Addicts

I found a good article about female sex and love addicts.  I’m going to put the whole article here (there are triggers on the landing page so I can’t provide a link).  It’s written very tongue and cheek, and makes light of the issue – but in fact there are some good tidbits of info [...]

HPV, Sex Addiction, Celibacy, Babies & Me

Sorry, I’ve been off the map for awhile and thank you all for your emails and concern.  It’s nice to know that our virtual community is a close one.
So this past month has been weird.  We started going to RCA, which is good.  Either by chance or maybe it’s the meetings things have started to calm [...]

Sex, Lies & Forgiveness – Couples speaking out on healing from addiction

So, I’m  re-reading the book by Jennifer Schneider & Burt Schneider and 5 months later I really find it a valuable tool to understanding.  The authors surveyed people and it is filled with examples, the way people feel on both sides.  There are some things that stick out for me…so I’ll excerpt them here. Both sides should [...]

Having a bad day thinking about sex addict’s past -grrrrr

Sometimes I wish I could read minds – and then sometimes I don’t.
Today and last night I do.  Bob and I generally argue about the same things over and over.  He knows what he’s done and I don’t.  I want to know – all of it, I just want my mind to rest so I [...]

Bad News…I Hope Not

I had an STD test as soon as I found out about the phyical affair and I had one in March prior to that for my annual check-up and I had one when I met Bob because I was single for awhile before that and tramped about and I wanted to be sure that I [...]

Thanks to Everyone for the Great Comments

I just want to personally thank everyone here for commenting on this blog.  As you know my purpose here is to try to understand and EVERYONE here has valuable things to say, questions to ask and also it’s great to know we’re not alone and it’s also great for others to know that we are not shy, frigid [...]

Interview with Sex Addict about Masterbation Addiction

I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m the interviewer and Bob’s partner so there be conflicts of interest here.  Also, that Bob is in therapy trying to understand himself so answers may seem short likley because he doesn’t really know.  Here goes:
First masterbated?  around 10 and would masterbate about 3 or 4 times [...]

The Strength of a Female Sex Addict

I’ve been reading a friend’s blog for quite sometime now and I feel quite grateful for the nuggets of helpful information she posts on this blog.  She is a recovering sex addict whose life I cannot imagine living through. I’m proud of her for having the guts to put it out there to help others and [...]

My relapse & the Sex Addict

So, I thought I was over the bridge of feeling really crappy, shaking and crazy.  I guess not.  I’ve had an emotional relapse – 11 weeks in.  Likely PMS and trigger-related.
The scramble with the phone thing really set me off, “triggered” me, I guess. Plus, the fact that I watched a man in his 40’s pay a [...]

Sex addicts blog that makes me angry

Yesterday while I was supposed to be working I got sidetracked and found a website written by two people who were obviously sex addicts.  It bothered the crap out of me.  They were proud and wanted to enlighten people about how great their long distance, virtual, cybersex, loving relationship was.
They posted about how much they [...]

Picture of female cybersexer…my decision

I seem to have received a lot of backlash for saying I just may post the picture of the cybersexer found on my BF’s hard drive.
Everyone, besides me, thinks it’s an emphatic no.
So how do I know if she is a cybersexer?  I found it related to his c-me-too account which was exclusively for his [...]

10 weeks after learning my BF is a sex addict

Wow, 10 weeks…a lot has changed for me, Bob and his family.
The shock has definately worn off and I’m looking at things more clearly now.  I’m wondering if I’m up for a life of always wondering.  Like this week for example, we’ve had sex once (usually it’s at least 3) and I wonder.  I don’t [...]

Why sex addict fantasies are ruined

Because the fantasy is always better than reality.
Most of us significant others can look back and see the change that happened in the beginning.  At first, our BFs were really into us sexually then…at some point (mine was about 5 months in) Bob started to really love me and then he stopped initiating sex and [...]