Moving in a Few Weeks – fences

I love the way we are when we’re together and loathe the way we are when we’re apart. I loathe the baggage – and more specifically, I loathe the way I feel when I’mwith him. I don’t feel sexy, wanted, like a woman – I am his Mother, his roomate, his glue. I need to look after me now. Get well and lose the emotional baggage – and now I have a ton. Trying to imagine not be jealous, not looking for those “SA signs”, wondering if I’ll be bored without the intense drama that’s wrapped my psyche for what seems like 30 years (only 1.5 years).

HPV, Pre-cancer round 2

I forgot to write a post about this so I’ll sum it up here. As you may be aware I contracted HPV, human papilloma virus – genital warts (i don’t have warts), from Bob and had a LEEP procedure to remove the precancer in my cervix back in Feb/March.

Permission to be confused

I went to one on one therapy last week. My brain is driving me nuts..what should I do? Why am I so weak? Why would I want my friends to leave their partners if they were in this situation and yet I can’t? Am I making a mistake leaving? Are my expectations too high (sex addiction aside)? Why was I attracted to a sex addict? How did I not know? How will I know the next time? Will my jealousy always be like this? How will I ever trust? Why am I still so confused?

My Decision to Stay or Leave Sex Addict

We also started couples counselling before I found out about the affair/ the addiction…only to find out that our counsellor did more damage than good. He told Bob, after he was a confirmed sex addict, that it was perfectly acceptable to comment on a woman’s cleavage if she was wearing a low cut top, because that’s why she’d wear it. Bob said he’d get fired for that and does he (shrink) realize he’s a sex addict. We never went to another counsellor at all. Bob tried to get an appointment with the only SA counsellor in our city – but his calls were never returned. Apparently.

Understanding the causes behind sex addiction

Sex addiction – in what ever form can be attributed to feelings of escape, of living in a fantasy world and mostly hiding from feelings.  There’s a great article at the selfhelptips blog with this as the guts – I think it sums it up nicely.
So how are we to understand this sexual behavior, especially coming [...]

Great Article About Female Sex & Love Addicts

I found a good article about female sex and love addicts.  I’m going to put the whole article here (there are triggers on the landing page so I can’t provide a link).  It’s written very tongue and cheek, and makes light of the issue – but in fact there are some good tidbits of info [...]

Questions about sex addiction – and answers

I’ll be putting up polls on a regular basis.  I will use the data as topics of posts going forward – so please participate – it’s anonymous.
Also, if there are topics/discussions/feelings/questions/answers I’m not covering and you want to know…comment on this post and I’ll do my best to answer or I can ask Bob for [...]

Great post about “the meetings”

I’ve been a fan of Gentlepath’s blog for awhile and she has some great posts which explain what sex addiction and sex addiction recovery is about.
Today’s post starts like this:
One of the things I hear over and over in recovery is that you can’t stop going to meetings. From the outside looking in, it’s depressing because [...]

HPV, Sex Addiction, Celibacy, Babies & Me

Sorry, I’ve been off the map for awhile and thank you all for your emails and concern.  It’s nice to know that our virtual community is a close one.
So this past month has been weird.  We started going to RCA, which is good.  Either by chance or maybe it’s the meetings things have started to calm [...]

Anyone want to be part of a documentary on sex addiction?

I was approached a few weeks ago to be part of a TV documentary.  While I appreciate and feel honored by the offer my anonymity is more important to me at this point.
If anyone wants to be involved in this documentary please email me and I can pass on your info.  betrayedbycyber@hotmail.com

What’s the difference between sexaholics anon & SLAA

So I’ve spoken to a few people and they say that there are inherent differences between SA & Sex and love addicts anon (SLAA)?
Has anyone been to both and what are the differences?
Thanks

Sex, Lies & Forgiveness – Couples speaking out on healing from addiction

So, I’m  re-reading the book by Jennifer Schneider & Burt Schneider and 5 months later I really find it a valuable tool to understanding.  The authors surveyed people and it is filled with examples, the way people feel on both sides.  There are some things that stick out for me…so I’ll excerpt them here. Both sides should [...]

Found Partner of Sex Addict Groups!!!

Finally, found groups.  They are so underground and hard to find.  Bob brought a Recovering Couples Anon (RCA) pamphlet home that he picked-up in his SLAA meetings.
I finally called and talked to someone to find out location and details etc.  It was sooooooooooo nice to actually speak with someone in real life who has been [...]

Bad News…I Hope Not

I had an STD test as soon as I found out about the phyical affair and I had one in March prior to that for my annual check-up and I had one when I met Bob because I was single for awhile before that and tramped about and I wanted to be sure that I [...]

Thanks to Everyone for the Great Comments

I just want to personally thank everyone here for commenting on this blog.  As you know my purpose here is to try to understand and EVERYONE here has valuable things to say, questions to ask and also it’s great to know we’re not alone and it’s also great for others to know that we are not shy, frigid [...]

Sexual Abused Men & Sex Addiction

Quick update:  the online version isn’t as long or as as good as the magazine.  I read it to Bob from online and the sex addiction parts were missing in the online version. If you can get a copy of the mag – you should. The article is listed on the cover of the mag in the [...]

Masterbation Addiction Interview

Update Sept 5, 2008: The interview about masterbation addiction
 
Tonight, Bob has agreed to let me “interview him” about his masterbation addiction to post here.  I have lot’s of people asking me questions offline about it.  So I’ll post likely tomorrow in a Q & A style.  Should be interesting. It will also include some info about [...]

The Strength of a Female Sex Addict

I’ve been reading a friend’s blog for quite sometime now and I feel quite grateful for the nuggets of helpful information she posts on this blog.  She is a recovering sex addict whose life I cannot imagine living through. I’m proud of her for having the guts to put it out there to help others and [...]

What is emotional intimacy?

Found a good article about emotional intimacy.   While I think it’s a bit more complicated in our situations here’s the bare bones.
Here’s a snippet:
Emotional intimacy is not the same as sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy can take place with or without emotional intimacy, and emotional intimacy often does not occur within any kind of sexual context.

 

Recovering Couples Anon – Sex addict & partner help

Well, I think the time has come to really figure how to be intimate and how to be a couple – a real one.
I’m going to ask Bob if he would like to do “date night” with me.  I found this RCA – Recovering Couples Anon website with a search fuction for meetings and there’s [...]