My Decision to Stay or Leave Sex Addict

We also started couples counselling before I found out about the affair/ the addiction…only to find out that our counsellor did more damage than good. He told Bob, after he was a confirmed sex addict, that it was perfectly acceptable to comment on a woman’s cleavage if she was wearing a low cut top, because that’s why she’d wear it. Bob said he’d get fired for that and does he (shrink) realize he’s a sex addict. We never went to another counsellor at all. Bob tried to get an appointment with the only SA counsellor in our city – but his calls were never returned. Apparently.

Why read this sex addiction blog?

Sex addicts poll # 1

Anger Again – Partner of sex addict and grief

I am angry, not just with Bob, but with the whole world.  One good friend thinks this is normal and a normal part of the grieving process.  You know, the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and/or acceptance. Personally, I think it’s fitting since I’ve lost the person and the relationship “I thought” I had.
I’m [...]

HPV, Sex Addiction, Celibacy, Babies & Me

Sorry, I’ve been off the map for awhile and thank you all for your emails and concern.  It’s nice to know that our virtual community is a close one.
So this past month has been weird.  We started going to RCA, which is good.  Either by chance or maybe it’s the meetings things have started to calm [...]

The term co-addict for partners od sex addicts

I hate the term co-addict.  Being an English major and a self proclaimed pedant, it would mean that I share Bob’s addiction. I don’t share his addiction.  I think that I could be called, “Super Sleuth Partner of a Sex Addict, ” Betrayed Partner of Sex Addict” “Completely Lost Partner”…but co-addict, not so much.
Anyone else feel [...]

If you don’t see your comment…

There is an automatic spam filter on my blog that blocks messages or comments (and sometimes I don’t even get to see them at all) if there are 2 or more links in the comment.  So I’m sorry if you haven’t received a reply from me or seen your comment on this blog.  PLease resubmit your [...]

Interview with Sex Addict about Masterbation Addiction

I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m the interviewer and Bob’s partner so there be conflicts of interest here.  Also, that Bob is in therapy trying to understand himself so answers may seem short likley because he doesn’t really know.  Here goes:
First masterbated?  around 10 and would masterbate about 3 or 4 times [...]

The Strength of a Female Sex Addict

I’ve been reading a friend’s blog for quite sometime now and I feel quite grateful for the nuggets of helpful information she posts on this blog.  She is a recovering sex addict whose life I cannot imagine living through. I’m proud of her for having the guts to put it out there to help others and [...]

What is emotional intimacy?

Found a good article about emotional intimacy.   While I think it’s a bit more complicated in our situations here’s the bare bones.
Here’s a snippet:
Emotional intimacy is not the same as sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy can take place with or without emotional intimacy, and emotional intimacy often does not occur within any kind of sexual context.

 

Sex Addiction Numbers Higher than Reported? Epidemic?

I started this blog July 9, 2009 – it seems so long ago and it also seems so close.  It’s very catharic for me and I read Bob the entries.  I’ve made some virtual friends along the way and I’ve put deep thought into a lot of comments and emails left by people on all [...]

Top 10 Things to Do When You Find Out Your Partner is a Sex Addict

The list is below but before I start there a few things I’d like to say….
I’d like to say stay calm, listen and don’t say things you’ll regret later but our emotions are so intense that me writing about them won’t help.  I’d also like to say don’t judge or give your opinions right away becuase [...]

Intellectualizing vs. Feeling – Partners of Sex Addicts

A commenter on my blog says some pretty amazing things and the other day the blogger said,
“Really think about what it would feel like. Don’t intellectualize, don’t research, I think your research has actually clouded your judgement.”
I’d have to say they have a point.  While my PMS kicked into full gear the last few (angry) [...]

How to cope with your partner when you’re a sex addict

I have a few things on my chest that I want to get out, so if you’re a recovering sex addict and you have a partner, listen up!
You’ve likely lived a double life for as along as you can remember.  You’ve probably medicated yourself with porn, cybersex, masterbation and/or other sex-related activities.  If you’re recovering [...]

Paranoia or Intuition: Feeling Sick Again & the Sex Addict

Here I am on a tropical island – I’m working from the hotel while “Bob” is at work – and now I feel sick and panicky and just overall icky.
Here’s the story… 10 steps forward and one step back….arggghhhhhhhh
Last night Bob set the alarm to get up at 6am to go to work.  However, there [...]

Interesting thoughts from sex addict on SLAA

Bob admitted yesterday that he finds the cryers and the needy people at SLAA to be annoying.  He respects the people who are matter of fact.  Thinks the crying people are pathetic and that they need to pull up their socks and stop feeling sorry for themselves.
Wow.
This sex addiction recovery is really starting to show [...]

Why sex addict fantasies are ruined

Because the fantasy is always better than reality.
Most of us significant others can look back and see the change that happened in the beginning.  At first, our BFs were really into us sexually then…at some point (mine was about 5 months in) Bob started to really love me and then he stopped initiating sex and [...]

Celibacy & the sex addict…

All the research I’ve read states clearly that if someone wants to recover from sex addiction that they must do a period of celibacy with self, their partner and their obvious addictions.
Most research states 12 weeks, the SLAA meeting my BF went to says at least 30 days.
I think it’s a good thing to do [...]

Women’s sex addiction test

Found this on SASH, authored by leading sex addiction expert Patrick Carnes.

Women’s Sexual Addiction Screening Test

The Women’s Sexual Addiction Screening Test (W-SAST) is a set of questions to help you see your sexual activity more clearly. It is an assessment of sexually compulsive or addictive behavior. A high number of YES answers may be a [...]

Related posts on my blog…

Thanks so much for reading my blog. 
I noticed that “related blogs or posts” are included when you click on my blog.  I would like to say they are randomly generated from keywords (tags) from this page.
I apologize if some not so savory messages get through.  There is virtually nothing I can do about it.
I am [...]