7 weeks after learning my BF is a sex addict

Wish I wasn’t writing this blog.  Wish none of this sex addiction stuff ever happened.  Wish…wish…wish…
I’m doing better.  The shock is over and now I need to decide what to do.  I know none of the pornography, masterbation, cybersex and affairs had anything to do with me.  I do know that I am scared for [...]

Religion & Sex Addiction…

Why is God in the picture everywhere you see addiction stuff?  I am a Christian (afraid that I’m blaspheming here), but my BF isn’t and the 12 step programs are based on a higher power.  Well, that’s kind of  hard to get your head around starting a 12 step program without even knowing or believing [...]

Letter from a sex addict to me

A few weeks ago “Bob” gave me a card…It was a beautiful card and this was the inscription that he wrote.  he said it was hard and took him a couple of hours:
How do I even begin to say I’m sorry for everything I have put you through.  You didn’t deserve any of this; there [...]

I admit I’ve let myself go since finding out about his sex addiction

Yep, I’ve given up.  I cannot possibly look as good as the airbrushed models, porn stars and I definately can’t compete with Bob’s fantasies.
So here’s the thing…I’ve

stopped shaving my legs and my “bits” ( i am shaving airpits since it’s summer)
i don’t care what i eat
I am wearing PJs all the time
most days I don’t [...]

How my BF reacted to me speaking with the other woman…

Well, when I first told him I was going to go and tell Lisa’s husband he was miffed. 
He said why would I want to try to involve other people in this mess?  I said, I’d have liked Lisa’s husband to show up at my door, if he had evidence, dates, photos, etc. and tell me.  Bob said he [...]

No sex – what does that mean for a sex addict…

Yesterday my BF, who is a sex addict, came home and was agitated. He fell asleep on the couch after dinner and said he’s just really tired. He’s been home with me every night since we discovered his sex addiction 7 ish weeks ago and I’ve been talking incessantly about the affair, asking questions, trying [...]

Looking for books on what “normal” relationships are…

All of the research I have read on sex addiction states that sex addicts don’t know what normal is.
I’m trying to find a good book to read that details what a normal family is and what a normal relationship is – to no avail. I’m looking for this because I’m not sure I’m the [...]

My Friends Know About His Sex Addiction…their thoughts

I have a great group of close friends…they are cool, fun and we all genuinely care about each other and we talk about everything and I mean everything. A couple are married, some in long-term relationships and some single. I feel very grateful for them.
As soon as I found out about [...]

Why do I want to know every detail of the affair?

I’ll tell you why I need to know every detail of your sex addiction and I’ll tell you why you won’t fully disclose everything…

I need every detail to check inconsistancies in your story – that’s why I ask the same questions over and over and in different ways.  Afterall, I have found out more this [...]

Great post by wife of a pornography addict…

While trying to find others who are going through this I came across a great post written by a woman who has been married for four years.  While there is a bit of religion in the post you can see the anger, the hurt and feeling out of control for her husband’s pornography addiction.  It’s [...]

My sex life with a sex addict…

To recap, about 7 weeks ago I found out my boyfriend of nearly 2 years is a sex addict. He had an affair that lasted 3/4 of our relationship where he’d drive to meet a woman in a hotel room once a month for sex, was addicted to cybersex and admits he doesn’t know how many people [...]

The trust is gone completely with my sex addict boyfriend…

“Bob” and I went to counselling last night. We both thought it was a good session. After the session,  for the first time in 7ish weeks we didn’t talk about his addiction or our relationship.  We just took the dog for a walk and laughed, etc.
It felt good.  It felt like the man I knew and loved.  [...]

Great post by sex addict explaining love & addiction

I’ve spent a lot of time these weeks looking for and searching for answers, understanding…something to make me feel better, to make this ok.  To enforce the idea that the sex addiction has nothing to do with me, per se. 
I found an amazing post on a message board yesterday from a sex addict describing how [...]

He loves me so he has sex with others…

Recap: Bob, my BF for the past 2 years, is a sex addict.  I (we) found out 6ish weeks ago and I am messed-up.  He lived a completely double life.  He is addicted to masterbation, really soft porn, cybersex, had at least one physical affair and he’s a liar.
Ok, so here’s the thing (my conjecture)…

Bob [...]

Sex addiction is messing with my head…

Ok, I’m starting to feel a little calmer, more logical and certainly less crazy.  A bit, but not much.
I can’t get the thoughts of my boyfriend alone in the dark masterbating away for hours, days, months, years…to porn.  I can’t stop thinking about his physical affair and that after I found the text messages from [...]

How I feel after finding out my BF is a sex addict…

I feel as though I am unattractive, a crap lay and not good enough for him. 
I feel as though I am not the person he’s looking for and that I can never live up to his fantasies. 
I feel like I have been used as something he thinks he wants but in reality he doesn’t.
I am angry that [...]

Sex addict’s family of origin

Bob grew up in a non-traditional home.  His Mother and Father were alcoholics and they worked nights.  On the weekends they were drunk and ran errands and never had time for Bob or his 2 siblings.
A typical day for Bob would be…
Getting dressed for school (his Parents would leave food and clean clothes for him), [...]

His Cybersex and sex addiction admission

Well, Bob has admitted to:

being addicted to masterbation
being addicted to cybersex
being addicted to pornography
having one physical affair and looking for others

Bob and I met in the relationship section of Lavalife.  He says that he started the cybersex after he met me because it was a world unknown to him (he had been faithfully married for [...]

Couples counselling…and the day that devastated me

Be careful what you wish for…
I went to couples counselling because Bob lied about:

going to Hooters (i found the receipt)
buying porn (nothing illegal or hard core)
and something else inconsequential

I was tired of his lies and I was tired of snooping – thinking I was crazy and I wanted to get to the bottom of all [...]

The signs of addiction in the past two years…

So for the previous year and likely throughout the 2 years I had been playing private investigator. I knew something was up, but not sure what exactly. We argued and I brought up the text message stuff about every 3 or 4 weeks. The story would change slightly but not majorly. Guess I believed what i wanted to, but subconciously I knew there was something going on. I felt crazy and my stomach would turn. Sometimes I wouldn’t look for weeks because I was afraid of what I’d find.