HPV, Sex Addiction, Celibacy, Babies & Me

Sorry, I’ve been off the map for awhile and thank you all for your emails and concern.  It’s nice to know that our virtual community is a close one.
So this past month has been weird.  We started going to RCA, which is good.  Either by chance or maybe it’s the meetings things have started to calm [...]

One Foot, Two Foot – Relationships & Sex Addiction

Bob & I had an interesting conversation the other night about our relationship.  I think he really understood what I’ve been trying to say over these past 5 months.  We generally need an intrepreter becuase what I think I’m saying and what he understands are 2 different things entirely – and vice versa.
I asked him [...]

Having a bad day thinking about sex addict’s past -grrrrr

Sometimes I wish I could read minds – and then sometimes I don’t.
Today and last night I do.  Bob and I generally argue about the same things over and over.  He knows what he’s done and I don’t.  I want to know – all of it, I just want my mind to rest so I [...]

Antidepressants & sex addiction

Bob’s a mess (I can relate), truly – not sleeping, no concentration and really in shock about discovering that he was not in control of his “habits” that it controlled him and he can’t get his head around it.  So, he hasn’t excluded going on anti-depressents. 
So here’s my dilemma.  I know antidepressents help slow down  [...]

4 months after learning BF is a sex addict

It’s been about 4 months since the sex addiction reared it’s head.  I’m still as confused as ever.  There are two issues now.  Obviously the sex addiction and now the fact that Bob doesn’t feel.
We’ve not had sex for over two weeks now and Bob is in the celibacy stage of recovery.  He decided to [...]

Interview with Sex Addict about Masterbation Addiction

I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m the interviewer and Bob’s partner so there be conflicts of interest here.  Also, that Bob is in therapy trying to understand himself so answers may seem short likley because he doesn’t really know.  Here goes:
First masterbated?  around 10 and would masterbate about 3 or 4 times [...]

David Duchovny & Sex Addiction

I don’t care if David Duchovny is pleading that he is a sex addict only for a media plug for his new show.  It’s bringing some press to the addiction.  As I’ve said before in a previous post I don’t think most of us knew anything about this addiction until it hit home. Sadly.  If [...]

He doesn’t feel – is this part of sex addiction?

Bob admitted this weekend that he doesn’t feel.  He told a story about one of his best friends, “John”, a few years ago losing his Mother.  Bob knew John’s Mother and liked her.  She died of cancer.  Young.  Bob went to visitation with his family and his wife and remembers feeling nothing.  He says that he pretended to [...]

Who Am I Becoming? Partners of Sex Addicts

Not surprisingly, this sex addiction has rubbed me raw in emotions.  I have changed these past 3 months and into someone I do not know or particularly like.
I am angry at Bob and angry with myself for not walking away and for sometimes wanting to walk away. For both. 
I am jealous and not jealous.  Sometimes, most [...]

Top 10 Things to Do When You Find Out Your Partner is a Sex Addict

The list is below but before I start there a few things I’d like to say….
I’d like to say stay calm, listen and don’t say things you’ll regret later but our emotions are so intense that me writing about them won’t help.  I’d also like to say don’t judge or give your opinions right away becuase [...]

How to cope with your partner when you’re a sex addict

I have a few things on my chest that I want to get out, so if you’re a recovering sex addict and you have a partner, listen up!
You’ve likely lived a double life for as along as you can remember.  You’ve probably medicated yourself with porn, cybersex, masterbation and/or other sex-related activities.  If you’re recovering [...]

Hotels & my sex addict…

I have to say that remarkably I’m relieved that Bob has gone away for business this week.  I think it’s that I need a break from analyzing and looking at him and wondering what (or who) he’s thinking about.  These 9 weeks have been rough.  Think I’ve aged about 10+ years. 
Bob and I have been [...]

One day chip at Sex & Love Addicts Anon…Again

Bob has now gone to 3 meetings of  SLAA – Sex & Love Addicts Anon.  He says he’s been 9 weeks “sober” from his sex addiction.  If that is true – wow, that’s great news.  He’s been masterbating for at least 20 years at least 3 times a day, give or take.  He’s been white [...]

White knuckling? Recovery from sex addiction

After reading a great blog post http://betrayedbycybersex.wordpress.com/2008/07/30/interesting-post-from-recovering-sex-addict/ written by a recovering sex addict I have some thoughts that he pointed out.
White knuckling is a going cold turkey – you don’t the fix problem you just abstain from it so the thought processes are still there. 
While abstaining, in my opinion (I’m no expert), has to be part [...]

Interesting Post from recovering sex addict

I found a good post (link at bottom of this post) from a recovering sex addict and while I bypassed a lot of the religious stuff, it emphatically strikes a note with me – my boyfriend is also “the rock” he describes.  This article has a good coping strategy to try too.  It explains white knuckling [...]

I feel guilty now about masterbating and I’m not the sex addict

I feel guilty about masterbating.  Bob has now spent 8 weeks not masterbating and it’s very difficult for him.  He used to masterbate at least 3 times a day – he’s in his early 40s.
Is it right that I masterbate?  Am I taking some “sexytime” away from him?   I don’t hide it from Bob, never [...]

Traveling for work … the hotel ritual

Well here is a big Hoorah!!!
Bob went to a hotel for a night, for work and we were both worried about it.  In the past he had done a lot of masterbating, looking at porn on his computer (not movies), cybersexing and talking to random women he met during cybersex activities or on dating sites.  [...]

Triggers…what are we supposed to do as a couple?

Yesterday I wore something that is one of Bob’s triggers for his sex addiction.  He walked in the door, saw me and seemed agitated, preoccupied with sex and couldn’t really concentrate. 
I wore it on purpose.  I wanted sex and I wanted to be with my BF.
We hadn’t had sex for 3 days and it’s been 8-ish [...]

Masterbation addiction – you’re not alone!

I’ve had this blog for about a month now and I’m getting over 120 hits a day on average.  I’m shocked that I’m getting that many hits already.  My blog isn’t fully indexed yet nor picked up by all of the major search engines.
Anyway, looking at my stats for this blog the biggest clicked on [...]

Celibacy & the sex addict…

All the research I’ve read states clearly that if someone wants to recover from sex addiction that they must do a period of celibacy with self, their partner and their obvious addictions.
Most research states 12 weeks, the SLAA meeting my BF went to says at least 30 days.
I think it’s a good thing to do [...]