All the stages of grief, all the time & it does get easier

I guess a part of me currently lives in denial. I still can’t emotionally believe 100% that he had the affair, that he was addicted to porn and cybersexed and tried to meet any person he could. Logically – and the all of the evidence supports the fact that he did. Sometimes, still, I am overwhelmed with panic.

HPV, Sex Addiction, Celibacy, Babies & Me

Sorry, I’ve been off the map for awhile and thank you all for your emails and concern.  It’s nice to know that our virtual community is a close one.
So this past month has been weird.  We started going to RCA, which is good.  Either by chance or maybe it’s the meetings things have started to calm [...]

One Foot, Two Foot – Relationships & Sex Addiction

Bob & I had an interesting conversation the other night about our relationship.  I think he really understood what I’ve been trying to say over these past 5 months.  We generally need an intrepreter becuase what I think I’m saying and what he understands are 2 different things entirely – and vice versa.
I asked him [...]

Good days & bad days with sex addicts

Well, Bob & I are both having good days and bad days right now.  For me I have days where I can’t get the images out of my head, I snoop, which makes me feel bad about myself (my heart pounds and I feel sick while I’m doing it.  I feel sick about what I [...]

Letter from partner of sex addict

I received an email from someone else in this boat and she said I could publish it…so here it is:
I am 27.  “James” was my first and I was his his first.  We met when I was 15 and he was 18.  We dated for about a year, then he was going to college and [...]

Why can’t sex addicts get it up?

Quit Porn Addiction is a good website to learn how to do just that.  There’s lot’s of stories and a good post on why there’s impotence issues. Here’s a snippet:
I’m often asked about the ironic effect that porn addiction has on basic sexual interest. It would be natural to assume that constant preoccupation with sexual images would [...]

Hotels & my sex addict…

I have to say that remarkably I’m relieved that Bob has gone away for business this week.  I think it’s that I need a break from analyzing and looking at him and wondering what (or who) he’s thinking about.  These 9 weeks have been rough.  Think I’ve aged about 10+ years. 
Bob and I have been [...]

My 2 year anniversary with a sex addict…

As I was just telling a friend of mine…it’s mine and Bob’s 2 year anniversary coming up next week.  Normally I buy him pretty good gifts for occassions.  This year he’s getting nothing…nada…squat.  i reminded him last night that it will be two years and he says we’ll have to do something great.  I wonder [...]

My anger seems to have gone…

I don’t have that intense anger right now.  I’m not sure where it went or how it even left.  With Bob it feels like things are a bit like the way they used to be, the good parts – except there is always the proverbial elephant in the room.
I think it may be due to [...]

8 weeks after learning my BF is a sex addict…

Well, I’ve learned a lot in 8 weeks, more than I ever wanted to know, about sex addiction.  And yet, I still have so many unanswered questions.
I still haven’t made a decision as to what to do whether I shall stay of go.  A good friend of mine gave me some advice and said not [...]

7 weeks after learning my BF is a sex addict

Wish I wasn’t writing this blog.  Wish none of this sex addiction stuff ever happened.  Wish…wish…wish…
I’m doing better.  The shock is over and now I need to decide what to do.  I know none of the pornography, masterbation, cybersex and affairs had anything to do with me.  I do know that I am scared for [...]

Religion & Sex Addiction…

Why is God in the picture everywhere you see addiction stuff?  I am a Christian (afraid that I’m blaspheming here), but my BF isn’t and the 12 step programs are based on a higher power.  Well, that’s kind of  hard to get your head around starting a 12 step program without even knowing or believing [...]

I admit I’ve let myself go since finding out about his sex addiction

Yep, I’ve given up.  I cannot possibly look as good as the airbrushed models, porn stars and I definately can’t compete with Bob’s fantasies.
So here’s the thing…I’ve

stopped shaving my legs and my “bits” ( i am shaving airpits since it’s summer)
i don’t care what i eat
I am wearing PJs all the time
most days I don’t [...]

His sex addiction went…masterbation addiction, affair, cybersex & then porn…

Bob’s addiction started with masterbation making him feel “good” and zoned out of his feelings and the things around him from a young age.  He’s always done this and thought he was normal, but also thought it was dirty and he states, “it’s private” – in his world private = dirty.
When his marriage failed he [...]

My boyfriend is a cybersex addict

A month ago it all came out that my boyfriend is a sex addict. He’s addicted to cybersex, masterbation and he’s had an affair. That is the stuff he’s admitted to