Partner of sex addict, “Can I be any more confused?”

Dammit, I’m so confused.  I have no idea who I am anymore, truly and I’m not the damned sex addict.
I’m not feeling sorry for myself, but I am trying to come to a conclusion.  I haven’t left, but I want to – I haven’t stayed emotionally, but I want to…what the heck???
I was an impulsive [...]

All the stages of grief, all the time & it does get easier

I guess a part of me currently lives in denial. I still can’t emotionally believe 100% that he had the affair, that he was addicted to porn and cybersexed and tried to meet any person he could. Logically – and the all of the evidence supports the fact that he did. Sometimes, still, I am overwhelmed with panic.

HPV, Precancer, surgery & sex addict

Well, I went for surgery yesterday to remove part of my cervix in a LEEP procedure.  Bob went with me and was very upset by “what he’s created.” 
The surgery was not painful – only mild cramping afterwards – like the early years when you get your period for the first time.  The reprocussions are:  I [...]

HPV, Sex Addiction, Celibacy, Babies & Me

Sorry, I’ve been off the map for awhile and thank you all for your emails and concern.  It’s nice to know that our virtual community is a close one.
So this past month has been weird.  We started going to RCA, which is good.  Either by chance or maybe it’s the meetings things have started to calm [...]

Letter from partner of sex addict

I received an email from someone else in this boat and she said I could publish it…so here it is:
I am 27.  “James” was my first and I was his his first.  We met when I was 15 and he was 18.  We dated for about a year, then he was going to college and [...]

My 2 year anniversary with a sex addict…

As I was just telling a friend of mine…it’s mine and Bob’s 2 year anniversary coming up next week.  Normally I buy him pretty good gifts for occassions.  This year he’s getting nothing…nada…squat.  i reminded him last night that it will be two years and he says we’ll have to do something great.  I wonder [...]

How can my sex addict love me, but sleep with others?

He can…he did…it hurts…a lot
There was an intersting insight last night as Bob said he never saw any other of the women as an equal.  he always thought he was better than them.  Didn’t mind thinking they were whores, but was charming enough outwardly (playing the game) to get them on board and cybersex or [...]

Great blog from wife of sex addict – recovering prostitute addict

I found an amazing blog written by a woman whose husband is a recovering sex addict – he was addicted to prostitution.  She has some amazing insights.  I’ve added her blog to my blogroll.  But here’s the link.
She writes about trying to decide to leave…
For me there is a difference between staying in a hopelessly [...]

Spouses of sex addicts – males think differently than females

I’ve been reading a few more books and reacting to finding out your partner is a sex addict is different for males and females.
One of the books states that men are more upset about the sex part of the “relationship” and women are more worried about the emotional side.  Interesting.
I can honestly say that I [...]

Traveling for work and sex addiction

Bob is going to stay at a hotel tonight without me.  We’re both nervous about tonight. 
He has to go for work.  I am currently off work so I could go too, but I know I cannot police him.  If there’s a will there’s a way.  Hotel rooms are a trigger for Bob.  He used to [...]

The sex was crap … admission from my sex addicted BF

Bob admitted yesterday that it was the lead-up (ritual) to meeting Lisa that was exciting and he was always disappointed physically meeting Lisa because she and they never lived up to his fantasy.
He said they’d cybersex and talk about what they were going to do to each other and the fantasy would overwhelm him until [...]

Did the uncle play a part in my BF’s sex addiction?

My BF is a sex addict.  It’s going on it’s 8th week since we figured this out.  He’s addicted to porn, masterbation, cybersex and he’s had an affair with likely another sex addict.
I had a dream about a family member of my BF’s – who I’ve never spoken to, but only met twice.  I didn’t [...]

Affair! Get out of my mind…you’re driving me crazy

Well today and yesterday weren’t great days for me.
I can’t get the image of Bob and Lisa lying naked in bed, all spooned up caressing each other.  The text message I saw last year was all romantic “I want to lay in your arms again”…yada, yada, yada.  I feel sick to my stomach. 
Bob said last [...]

What’s in it for me? His sex addiction and our relationship…

Having a day today where I look at my life and wonder how it will be enhanced by staying with Bob.  Bob is a great guy, the “little porn man” is a jerk.
Do I want to sit here for the rest of my life wondering if he’s really running errands?  Do I want to play [...]

I talked to the other woman in the sex addiction triangle

Recap: “Bob” had a year long plus affair with Lisa. Lisa is married with 2 kids. They met in a cybersex chat room, talked and cybersexed for about a month and then met at a bar for an hour and got a hotel room and had sex. They would spend about 4 hours a week [...]

No sex – what does that mean for a sex addict…

Yesterday my BF, who is a sex addict, came home and was agitated. He fell asleep on the couch after dinner and said he’s just really tired. He’s been home with me every night since we discovered his sex addiction 7 ish weeks ago and I’ve been talking incessantly about the affair, asking questions, trying [...]

Why do I want to know every detail of the affair?

I’ll tell you why I need to know every detail of your sex addiction and I’ll tell you why you won’t fully disclose everything…

I need every detail to check inconsistancies in your story – that’s why I ask the same questions over and over and in different ways.  Afterall, I have found out more this [...]

Great post by wife of a pornography addict…

While trying to find others who are going through this I came across a great post written by a woman who has been married for four years.  While there is a bit of religion in the post you can see the anger, the hurt and feeling out of control for her husband’s pornography addiction.  It’s [...]

My sex life with a sex addict…

To recap, about 7 weeks ago I found out my boyfriend of nearly 2 years is a sex addict. He had an affair that lasted 3/4 of our relationship where he’d drive to meet a woman in a hotel room once a month for sex, was addicted to cybersex and admits he doesn’t know how many people [...]

Great post by sex addict explaining love & addiction

I’ve spent a lot of time these weeks looking for and searching for answers, understanding…something to make me feel better, to make this ok.  To enforce the idea that the sex addiction has nothing to do with me, per se. 
I found an amazing post on a message board yesterday from a sex addict describing how [...]